It's not an Easy Road

Well, my day yesterday was very trying. I wanted to come on and blog my frustration but I had to get some rest to come in to work tonight. The first meal I had was a Peanut Butter Crunch Bar. It wasn't the best tasting thing but I decided I'm going to start out with the ones that I would probably hate the most. The second meal was a Banana Creme Shake, good Lord, I had to make it really thick because I don't think that I would've been able to drink it as a 'thin' liquid with just water. Next up I tried the Oatmeal and Raisin, my favorite thus far. Later on I tried the Original Pancakes, I had to force myself to eat these as they were quite horrible when prepared as directed. It was after that when I lost my strength and rummaged the fridge, eating three slices of turkey bologna and a cheese stick. Counting those calories added up to a little over the amount that is usually in one meal so I skipped the fifth meal. My Lean and Green meal sucked! I prepared a meal of Broccoli Normandy and a fillet of cod. Being from the islands I prefer my food to be seasoned at least a day in advance. To say that it was tasteless is an understatement. Cod fish has a texture that is more dense than other fish. I forced myself to eat that too. :( I must admit, I screwed up on my first day. With a few tweaks I hope that today will go better. I only drank about a little bottle and a half of water which is way less than I should've. I won't rummage the fridge today, hopefully. As per my doctor I'm supposed to continue taking my Metformin pills but I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling pretty out of it when I start taking those again. Metformin has that effect that makes you feel really sick. I did get a few headaches but nothing worse than I've been having for the past few months. I decided that I will only step on the scale on Wednesdays. I'm so fearful of disappointment, no weightloss. What I did manage to do in good favor was log each meal I ate using MyFitnessPal. For some reason it has my goal calories as 1400. Today I consumed 978. After completing my meal logs for the day it reminds me that I'm coming in very low under the recommended amount. It also said that if I continue on this pattern I would lose a total of ten pounds on five weeks? I'm interested to see what the loss will be when those five weeks come to an end. My peeves today? The Medifast app seems to be reminding me about meals every four hours vs. three. Maybe I can't count. Currently I'm pretending to enjoy the Chicken Noodle soup. It's not too bad but it could use a bouillon cube or four. I keep reminding myself of the reason I'm doing this. I keep saying I can't quit or give up. I keep seeing myself wearing the clothes that I wore years ago, when I loved my body. A dream deferred? Singing out... Toy :)