Two days ago I went walking up the hill towards my apartment. On the way down I found myself wondering, “What in the world did I do to deserve this?” It was pretty challenging. I had to keep reminding myself of why I’m doing this. I don’t want to be fat anymore. That’s the bottom line. As I walked up the hill, my legs burned, there was a pain in my side I felt like I wanted to die, cry, and throw myself down, anything to not have to walk up this hill. Thirty minutes later, I was at the top of the hill. Thinking that I was going to go to sleep I went home to wind down. Minutes later I was on the street running errands. I did not sleep a wink. I went to work and was up all night like I took some uppers.
I must say that it felt pretty good after it was all said and done. The squad that I work with are all now on this weight loss challenge at work. We decided that we’ll go walking several times a week. I also have a cousin on the TSFL plan and I committed to go walking with her too. I’m pretty sure that there will be days when I end up walking or doing some other form of exercise twice. I guess it’s okay, I’ll do what I have to do and more exercise will be better for me. I just hope that I’m able to get some sleep in addition to all the other things that I have going on.
Now today, once again I couldn’t sleep. I got in and out of bed so many times that I was getting annoyed with myself and decided to go do the laundry. I got in two loads and on my way back to my apartment for the third I ran into an older lady. The conversation goes like this;
Old Lady: Miss are you doing your laundry?
Me: Yes I am, but there is one washer available.
Old Lady: So, will you be using the machines again?
Me: After this last load in the washer no.
Old Lady: Have you lived here all the time?
Me: Yes, I’ve been living here all the time. I pass you downstairs almost every morning.
Old Lady: I don’t recall, but you’re gaining a lot of weight.…….
Now, I was so offended, and maybe I should’ve told her. This really hurt, especially after losing ten pounds in three weeks. I went back to my apartment and shed tears. I was so hurt. If you don’t remember me, why include that I’m gaining weight? It was so off the wall that I really regret not telling her to kiss my ass.
Thank God for my boyfriend who spent the rest of the day reminding me of all the reasons that he fell in love with me. Even those made me cry. I just can’t fathom or understand why people choose weight as the first thing to comment on. Then if my attitude changes towards her and I no longer say anything I become a bad person.
It’s more motivation to reach goal.