Sink or Swim...

So, it's been a matter of weeks before I was last able to blog about anything of substance. For starters, I am still doing TSFL. I guess I now have no choice but to count the first two weerks as a trial and error period. I did manage to lose a few pounds, seven to be exact but with Mother Nature around I have put back on three.

I'm doing a lot better than I originally thought and I'm learning to love some of the things that I said that I didn't like, except the fruit punch drink! I have been drinking the banana creme and the strawberry shake, trying to get rid of them and guess what? I can now tolerate them. Weird right? Don't get me wrong, I will not be ordering them again but they are not as bad as when I first tried them. Now the pancakes... I have had them for the past three days in a row. I added one tsp. of baking powder, 2 tsp. of cinnamon, 1 tsp. of vanilla and just a tad less water than the recipe calls for. I let the batter sit for a minute or two until it comes to a thicker consistency. I then spray my warm pan with some Pam and prepare two cakes like I would normal ones. Now, if left plain they will just taste like a cinnamon version of the same pancakes that I can't stand. The good part about it now is that I found out that Laughing Cow Cheese is considered a 'healthy fat' and I can use the light version as a condiment. I use one wedge to spread the delicious goodness over each pancake and dig in, bottle of water right next to my plate. Sadly, I have been having it with two slivers of avocado. I really thought that I was doing myself a favor by learning to love the pancakes and having avocado with it. Not!! Avocado is strictly off limits on this plan. Too bad I found out after I had it for three days in a row. I was so depressed. I felt like I'll never get out of the 250's ;(.

I have been so busy with school that it just added to my slip ups and fall downs. Since day one I have had quite a few that I'm recovering (no longer crying and beating myself up over) from;

1. Accidental chicken nuggets (It was the second day into the plan and I forgot that I was taking on new habits).
2. Not eating all five mandatory meals (I work the night shift, I missed my last two meals because I slept through).
3. Not drinking enough water (I am not an avid water person, unless I'm showering).
4. Having a colada w/out alcohol (One for a birthday party, the other three days later at breakfast).
5. Eating such a large egg omlette as a lean and green (See, the colada I had for breakfast).
6. Having Girl Scout cookies - thin mints ;(.
7. Eating a slice and a half of pepperoni pizza (This was pure greed, I shot myself in the foot. Tummy hurt all night).
8. Eating dumplings and avocado (I am a Caribbean Princess, I thought this was a divine right).


Today is now day 18 and the progress I could've made will have to be made up by the end of the month. I realized that the last two weeks I did not giving it my all and temptation was leaning on my door bell the whole time. I know that the plan works because my feet haven't been swelling as much and I am not so as achy. The initial headaches have gone and my tummy rumbles sometimes so I think it's my body restting itself for the plan.

My PROBLEM is that I know what the possibilities are for everyone but myself. I always expect to get mundane results when it comes to me and with everyone else I was so accustomed to helping them achieve their goals. The new year started and I have had to cut ties from many things and people. I'm owning my mistakes for the past 17 days and recommitting myself to becomming a healthier, happier, sexier me.

Lastly, I know this post is borinly long, the picture above is what my boyfrind/bestfried wrote on a note that I had on the refriderator. I was about to leave for work at 11:40pm and went to get a bottle of water. What I saw brought me to tears and I was instantly uplifted, feeling a sense of motivation and affection that I haven't felt in a while. My sweetheart believed in me, it's about damn time I started believing in myself. I'm not going to sink, but I'll be damned if I live on an island and don't swim.

Learning to Swim,
     Toy